Doing gentle #45 Source of information

What’s your source of information, the therapist asked of Mary Karr, and she’s honest enough to see that most of the time, it’s her imagination that’s the source of imagination.

She tells the story in On Being with Krista Tippett, an episode I’ve listened to over and over again. There’s a lot of gold in that episode. Little snippets of conversation that, in it’s raw honesty and vulnerability with an ever-present humor, enters me, completely. Goes straight to my heart and lodges there, as little crystals to carry with me. Crystals to energize me, when I have a need for it.

What’s your source of information, I ask myself, as I paint a picture of what certain experiences, interactions, activities undertaken or not, mean. And I know, it’s I. I’m the source of information, as the picture within my mind is painted from a palette of opinions and expectations, rather than fact, data points, that just are.

And here’s the catch for me. There’s nothing wrong with painting a picture out of opinions and expectations, as long as I am aware of it. If I mistakenly believe the picture to be painted using fact and data points that just are, that’s when and where I might end up in some serious trouble. That’s where I deceive myself, lure myself down a treacherous path, of mistakenly (oh so innocently!) believing that what I paint, for my inner eye, is Truth. Which it is not. It is a picture made up of make-belief, some of which might be more in line with what was intended than other parts of it; the knowing of which is of great benefit to me.