”Battles require two parties.
One fighting alone soon tires.”
In the same way that it takes two to tango, right?!
But oh, can this be a tough nut to crack. Actually trying to live it is not the easiest, that’s for sure. I gather it’s not just the situation at hand that makes it hard to choose my battles wisely, it’s so much more.
History – what I’ve experienced before, in similar situations; what I thought then and how that made me feel.
Preconceived notions, about child-rearing and parenthood, about being a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a colleague, boss, friend.
The ingrained patterns I’ve picked up along the way, making for quick and easy shortcuts from stimuli to full on battle in the blink of an eyelid… before I’ve had a chance to collect my wits and ask myself: what serves me here? What’s the best me to bring to the situation? And if I cannot, what can I do to pause this before anyone gets hurt?
But once in a while, I manage to disengage – or not engage at all to begin with – from an ongoing fight, and yes, it’s quite amazing what happens when the tension is released. Because that’s what battling requires – two (or more) parties exerting tension; one pushing, the other shoving; one shouting, the other shouting louder; one throwing a punch, the other dodging, getting ready to throw a punch of his or her own. When I use my energy for something other than battling you; no longer applying the tension that helps you define your position – both of us has a chance to get a new perspective upon the situation we’re in. And then… anything can happen!
#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 87 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.