37. The tankespjärn of removing to become rich | with Steve Emery

Inspired by this (the second) conversation with Steve Emery, I just finished listening to The teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda. In the book, Castaneda speaks a lot about ordinary and non-ordinary reality, something which my experiences through process-oriented therapy and Steve’s work with Internal Family Systems sure weave a colourful tapestry of (or between?) those aspects of reality.

Weird?
Yeah.
That’s the non-ordinary aspect of it.
But not less real. No less a part of reality.

But I promise, there’s more hands-on down-to-earth meanders here too. Like the question I posed when I gave an inspirational talk recently, wanting to provide a touch of tankespjärn:
What can you remove from your life, to make it richer?

One of the things I was thinking of myself when I asked this question, are all the should’s. I should do this, I shouldn’t do that…

Think about it.
Just for a minute.

What have you got in your life that adds to your list of should’s?
It might be a thing. A summer house. A boat, a fancy motorcycle, a gym card.
Or a thought. Diminishing your own self-worth, feelings of jealousy towards a colleague or best friend. Thinking you are too much. Or too little. Not enough.

Like an endless commentary on the inside, making me ask:
What’s it for? How does it serve?

I’ll wager that I am far from alone in having a pile of should’s to untangle. If nothing else, I’ve got Steve to keep me company. As strange as it might sound, we’ve both been helped along by the global Covid-pandemic, which has forced some things out of our lives. And when something is let go, it opens for other things to let come. Same here. Even if part of what’s gotten harder during the pandemic are lovely in and of themselves, like travelling for instance. When it’s not possible, or at least somewhat trickier to do, what’s available close by can be explored in ways never done before. Be it the surrounding area, cities or forests, meadows or ocean fronts, or your own interior realms, I promise there are things there that can make your life richer.

Hopefully, you’ll find some tankespjärn too.

Links:

Steve Emery is most easily found on Color Sweet Tooth

Internal Family Systems

The Storyskills workshop

You can hear Matthew Word Bain on Tankespjärn with Helena Roth too

Arnold Mindell, Process-oriented therapy with Dominic

Active imagination

Knucklebones

Carlos Castaneda and The teaching of Don Juan

Alan Watts’ Being in the Way podcast episode 8: Man and Nature

Robin Wall Kimmerer on On Being