Being gentle lies at the heart of this entire site. The reason is simple: when I understood that it’s possible for me to be gentle to me, that’s when I started to know, and love, myself. Until then, I didn’t like me. At least huge chunks of me. And when I didn’t like me, it didn’t come naturally to me to be gentle with myself either.
Somewhere a shift occured. A shift where I went from not being gentle with myself, because I didn’t like me, didn’t think I deserved better than my harsh inner dialogue, to wanting to be gentle with me, but having no clue how it’s done. None. It was a very strange concept for me, this notion of being gentle to myself. I didn’t know how to do it. It’s taken me some time, but I’ve gotten a lot better at it. I still fall in the trap sometimes of punishing myself for something, some conceived misdemeanor of mine – major or minor – that I think I shouldn’t have committed.
But all in all, I am gentle to me. I hold myself gently, whether or not I’m proud of what I’ve done or it’s something I wish I could have unsaid or undone. I know that’s not possible, what’s done is done, and that holding a loving space for myself, especially when I’m not proud of my actions, is the best way to learn from the situation, and – hopefully – get better at making other choices in similar situations ahead.
First published on my blog on January 25th, 2016: https://helenaroth.com/being-gentle-to-me-reflection-january-16/
Søren Lassen Andreasen – audio production
Olof Jennfors – soundtrack
Anders Roos – photography