Sometimes, it’s as if time ceases to be.

When something so unexpected takes place – that everything just freezes. The moment lasts forever. I breath in, out, slowly, slowly, but without any time elapsing. Being in a prolonged state of now, a moment that has no beginning, no end. the unexpected

When something so unexpected takes place – that you start to question your sanity. Did it? Or didn’t it? Am I living a dream? Or did what seems impossible, improbable, implausible, actually just happen?

What do I feel? What don’t I feel?
It’s as if I go into chock, don’t know up from down, left from right, am I even breathing, or did that stop too?

Tears fall slowly, softly, down the curve of my cheeks, I taste the their saltiness when they slowly roll only my lips, into my mouth.

I sit. Still. Breathe.
Gaze, unseeingly, straight ahead. Seeing something else in my minds eye, replay the scene, breath. In. Out.
Hug myself. Lost. Feel lost. Cannot wrap my head around what just happened.

Am I out of my mind? What did just happen? How could it happen?
And given that it did happen – what’s the next step? Where do I go from here?
How to move, one step at a time, onto the road ahead?


First published on my blog on May 2nd, 2016:




Audio production: Caspian Almerud

Photography: Anders Roos

Soundtrack: Olof Jennfors Ljudtjänst