My final reflective blog post on the intention I placed upon 2017: Wholeheartedness – living life wholeheartedly. I’ve already started to reflect quite a lot on my upcoming yearly intention, earlier than what has normally been the case for me. So the intention for 2018 feels like it’s one born out of necessity, out of a willingness and urge to explore what might come with a year of intentional living… but not so fast, my dear. I have yet to do this final reflection on wholeheartedness.
Given all the ups and downs of 2017, I have most definitely been aided by having this intention. Not letting myself forget, that it’s my life, it’s my heart, and I am the one in charge of making, creating, shaping my life in a manner most coherent with my beliefs, wishes, desires, aspirations, goals, values – call it whatever you like, I am still the one in charge. It’s on me.
And nowadays, for me, that’s a very hopeful and inspiring statement to make: I’m in charge. It’s on me.
The old Helena would have been intimidated by it, scared, and most of all, reluctant to honor it – reluctant to honor myself, in a sense, not believing I had it in me, not wanting to own my life and my experiences, believing life was easier if someone else was responsible. But alas – that’s not how it works. No one else can be responsible, because I am the one who shape my experience of my life. It comes from within. Being open to that, to all of my experiences, sure makes a difference. And that, in and of itself, is perhaps a definition of wholeheartedness? Not shying away from anything, not even the stuff most difficult to face, the bits and pieces of me that I have spun stories around, making it shameful, despicable, unworthy.
Being open to all of me, my whole heart, has helped me put less and less weight upon the stories I spin that are no longer serving me – and with that I have more energy for that which serves me: such as living a wholehearted life.