I wonder if this last month has possibly been the month of me being the least gentle towards myself, that I’ve experienced in the past several years… A month of intense work and too little time to simply be. I haven’t been intentionally mean towards myself, not at all, but there’s been deadlines looming that have made me step into a get-it-done-mode where the soft and silent inner voice has been completely run over. Especially since I let that part of me run the show in February; a month where a lot of the work could have been done that I’ve been doing this month as a consequence.
And it’s ok. I mean, I am still fit as a fiddle, eating, sleeping (well… could do with a bit more sleep, truth be told), knitting and taking time for family gatherings, so it’s not been 100% work, far from it. And the masochist within takes some pleasure in the getting-it-done-mode also; it’s rewarding to see a delivery become more and more defined, pieces falling into place and making sense, not to mention the thrill at shipping it, only to be allowed to follow it up with an invoice for a job well done.
But I am tired.
Sit in the sofa yawning like crazy.
Feel lack-lustre.
It’s as if life is taking its toll, all of a sudden, and I just want to Be. Doing nothing. Throw away all ToDo’s, cancel all meetings and assignments; put life on Pause for a little while.
But I won’t. Because I don’t want to, truly.
But yes, postponing ToDo’s that are possible to postpone without serious consequences, for sure.
Saying no to meetings and or assignments that aren’t crucial, definitely.
Asking for help and assistance, as and when I need it; listening within and being open with my needs, you bet.
And stepping up for myself – hell yeah!
All in all, being gentler towards myself, supersizing on Gentleness this next month, as I replenish and recharge while simultaneously finishing off my last large assignment for the year.