The change that I know is coming, will greatly impact what I do, and how I make my living, for the next 1,5-2 years. Or rather, what I will no longer be doing for the next 1,5-2 years.
And again, I thank my lucky star, that I’ve worked so much with myself, with embracing what is, with finding new ways forward, that this news doesn’t wreak havoc within.
Yes. There is sadness, at not being allowed to finish what we’ve started. At not getting to face the hurdles that were sure to come, with the team we’ve built. At not getting to share my everyday working life with these people, whom I’ve come to care greatly for, value and honor, and have so much fun with. At not getting the ample opportunities for learning, that were sure to rain down upon me, on a weekly if not daily basis.
And. There is gratitude. At having come as far as we have. At getting a strong team to gel together in a most amazing way. At getting to know so many new people, people whom I definitely want to stay connected to. And not least, of having been able to amass some funds, which will take me through the upcoming year, without having to go desperate.
And, yes, there’s a bit of frustration as well. At stopping this at this time, wasting money already spent, for reasons I cannot fathom, or at the very least, disagree with.
I can also see what opens up for me, with letting go of what was to have been, making room to let come whatever will come in its place. Being able to serve other existing customers more fully again. At putting more focus on building my tankespjärn-community and all of the ideas I have around that. Of picking up the work of other things that I put at a lower priority than this project. And the opportunity, once more, to give myself more me-time, which I’ve not done this past year.
I’ve learned so much, though…
I’ve seen my strengths in greater clarity. (And my flaws.)
I’ve been validated as being an ace trainer.
I know that I work best as a project manager when I do it in tandem with another when that other complements me.
I’ve got proof –again– that I do have a high capacity, and that there’s a limit to it, to what I can keep track of with regards to details.
And that I absolutely love working with professionals!
I will make good use of all the learnings, insights and experiences I’ve gotten from working this project, and I am, more than anything else, extremely glad that I’ve been a part of it!
And so, change is coming.
(It always is, isn’t it?)