The bottom line:
There will come a time when I value nudges of intuition as much as I value rational intellect.
Tuesdays, I play office with Caspian at his pad.
Today, he had a meeting in the morning, so we’d agreed that I’d come when he was back home. While waiting for him to give the go-ahead, I took the opportunity to read. I borrowed The Testament by Margaret Atwood from a lady in my Gifted Bookclub, and come Thursday we’re meeting up, so I want to be done with it by then… which I’ve known for the better part of two months or so, and yet, I didn’t actually pick the book up until a week hence or so. And yeah, well… let’s just say I will have to cram a few hours of reading in between now and Thursday evening in order to get it done.
Once Caspian called to say he was on his way home, the thought crossed my mind to bring the book, as I planned on staying around until seven pm, by which time I’d be heading in to town for lindy hop-class.
But nah, why would I bring it?
It’s a thick and bulky hardcover, and… I’d be working the entire time.
When would there be an opportunity to read?
I didn’t bring it.
Oh, Caspian had added when he called, there’s an electrician at my place working, just so you know there might be a bit of noise and such.
No worries, it’ll be fine, I responded.
Once we’d checked in with each other, I started listening/watching to raw snippets to be branding for the podcast, moving on to the transcript for next week’s episode while making notes about what to turn into raw snippets, come early afternoon the electrician asked if it was ok that he cut the power? Sure thing, I mean, he has a job to get done so, yeah, of course. Plodding along I was even writing the episode description for the upcoming pod-release, quite satisfied with myself for being ahead of schedule, as the past two episodes have had me making notes and writing episode descriptions over the weekend.
Surfing using my phone’s hotspot, once I was done with all these to-do’s, my computer was down to 13% battery power. (It’s getting old, and the stamina it had to go for hours without connected to the powergrid are long gone, unfortunately. And no Caspian, that’s not reason enough to get me to buy a new one…)
Looking around me, it hit me that there was no power to connect to. Asking the electrician how much longer the power might be cut, he said well, it won’t be long now. Having been around the block a few times, I know ”it won’t be long” warrants clarification, so I asked more specifically. Ten minutes? Half an hour? One? Two? Well, half an hour to an hour, perhaps, he responded, turning back to the work at hand.
Headed for the desk again, I realized I now had nothing to do.
My foremost work tool, the computer, out of juice.
That’s when it hit me.
That little nudge of intuition had informed me in the morning that it would be a good idea to bring my book.
But. I. Had. Not. Heeded. It.
I’d not heeded this little quiet voice within, today telling me to bring the book, in the same way that I so often do when it bring me small nudges. I ignore it, or, more commonly, let my intellect talk me out of it, giving a rational and logical reason why it would be a dumb idea. As so often is the case, I promptly proceeded to follow Intellect, ignoring Intuition.
But I am on to it. I am learning to heed my intuition more and more. It’s an ongoing process, becoming aware of these discrepancies, where Intellect slyly bullies Intuition into submission. Remembering my little hunch, connecting the dots, I know that given time and a few more of these oops-incidents, the day will come when I do heed it, when Intellect is no longer able to bully Intuition.
Then, I will be at a place where I value my nudges of my intuition as much as I value the rational competence of my intellect.