Bella has a knack of asking poignant questions that open a wide expanse in front of me, or us, and off we go. Down deep, continuing on the theme from our last conversation.
During this our second (recorded) conversation it became clear to me how I’ve come to a place where it’s much easier for me to stand my ground, feel centered and secure, in my skills, my experience, my abilities, in professional settings, and how on a personal level, I’m experiencing something quite different.
‘I know how to express my professional needs.
Personally, it’s like there’s a gigantic slab of concrete on top of my needs. They can’t even get up because they’re stuck underneath this heavy load that’s keeping them from being expressed. And it’s all mental beliefs, like shame, like unworthiness, like oh, good girls don’t do that, good girls don’t wanna do that. All of that stuff.’ ~Helena
It’s not all that bad, of course, but if I extrapolate and enhance, that’s the feeling. Like there’s a mental vice holding me down, hemming me in, stopping me from speaking my needs, my truth, using my voice, my limbs, my body in ways that I want to – an inner signal that won’t get transformed into physical expression because some part of me won’t allow the transformation.
Having just had a moment of exquisite clarity professionally, I am anchoring the sensation, remembering it with all of me, so that I can use it as a guiding light for myself in personal/private settings – because I know how to be crystal clear in my communication and connection.
One of our meanders had us dancing with two other familiar concepts, discernment and judgment.
‘Discernment is flexible and judgment is rigid.’ ~Bella
Now, I won’t say more than that… in the hope you will press play and find a tankespjärn or two in this episode!
Bella (and her music)