C has been asking me, every two weeks or so, for the better part of the past few months Do you know what your intention for the year will be next year? I kept answering No, it hasn’t come to me yet, and But I can sense something, it’s slowly revealing itself to me.
Then I woke up Monday the 14th knowing. I grabbed a small postIt-pad I keep on my bedside table, and wrote:
Intuition. Ask me. Embody. Listen. Books. Food. Activities. 2021. 21th.
I texted C and told him I had it, the intention for the upcoming year, and that I was gonna make a shift, from starting my year on the first of January, to going with the energy and presence of sun. So I will be starting the intention of the upcoming year, today, the 22nd, the first day after the solstice, i.e. the longest day of the year, ending it on the 21st of December of 2021.
The day after this intention came to me, I had a session with D.
I told him about it, as being about me doing the following: Ask – intuit – listen – act
D being D, he asked me what I meant with intuit, and when I expanded upon it, he helped me see that in essence, what I mean is this:
For the next year, I want to integrate all parts of me, my intuition, my senses, my felt experiences, my intellect and rationality, all of me, learning to play the instrument that is me better, fuller, learning when to do more of intuition, when to go all in with my intellect and so on. This has me leaning in to all of me, to ask, and then to listen, very carefully and closely.
Given all of that, my intention for the upcoming year is to Ask – Listen, to All of Me – Act.
I can see a number of ways this will inform me.
What to eat. When to eat. When to get off the sofa to dance and move my body, how and when to move, when to go to bed, what book to read, film to see, person to call, when to step into a conversation and when to stay out of it. In a sense, I see it as me connecting any doing on my part more closely to the being of me. That the doing I will be doing, will be informed by my being, all of my being, and I hope to both calibrate and fine-tune my ability to hear, truly hear, what all of me has to bring to the table.
You see, with a strong Upholder-tendency, my issue is not to adhere to commitments (to name but one, today I did my 2319rd day of morning-Seven’s) but rather, to not push myself into doing because I said I would. Sometimes, yes, absolutely. But I can push too hard, too far, to the detriment of me, and I want to practice self-honoring instead of self-punishment. In a sense, I am leveling up with regards to doing gentle with an edge, something I’ve learned how to do over the years. Now, I am taking it up a notch.
For the next year, the mantra that will be the lighthouse guiding me, ever onwards in expansion:
Ask – Listen, to All of Me – Act.