“I am responsible for me and my actions.
You are responsible for you and your actions.” ~ Helena
What would it be like if there was more of this in the world?
No more You make me [fill in the blank]… (Or less of it, at least.)
More I get [fill in the blank] when… instead.
Where [fill in the blank] might be angry, happy, sad, upset, elated, excited, triggered.
The latter provides a space for my beloved mellanrum, i.e. Swedish for ‘the space in between’. The room to pause, sense into, act rather than react.
There’s a next level available too, where There is [fill in the blank] when… becomes possible. Giving even more room to disengage, or, perhaps more an opportunity to not identify so strongly to whatever wants to happen in the moment. To let there be Anger. Happiness. Sadness or Upset. Elation, Excitement, Triggering. Desire, Chock or Fear.
“All emotions are players on a stage, and a story without a villain is kind of a boring story, isn’t it? And if it’s all villains, it’s not fun either.” ~ Luke
All of them welcome. All of them valid. In the appropriate context, and it’s all about context! If emotions weren’t vilified, or ridiculed, belittled, or even worse, shamed, would it be easier to dance with them then? Would it be easier to take responsibility for my experience, and honor my boundaries with greater ease if I simultaneously own what I feel while not identifying as what I feel?
“Who do I want to be? What’s the culture, what’s the quality of the engagement and the connection? What do I want to foster? What do I want to see more of in the world?
Yes! Be that thing.” ~ Helena
Who do you want to be?
Luke echoed me after my rant, repeating the question back to me… and reflecting on this our third conversation, the difference between Being and Doing makes itself known to me. ‘Who do you want to be?’ is the question, not ‘What do you want to do?’.
Perhaps that tankespjärn can be your companion for the day? Or maybe you’ll find another one, while listening!
Links:
Find Luke Aymon on Twitter
Spökguiden with Jacques Schultze
First episode with Luke where we spoke about gaming
Ain’t it awful, from Eric Berne’s book ‘Games people play’
Deep Dive with Eyal Shay, podcast episode with Rachel Clifton
Tankespjärn on Patreon – join us for equally rich conversations on a monthly basis