First published on my blog on November 3rd, 2016: https://tankespjarn.com/what-if-i-forgave-myself/
Just finished watching Wild, the movie with Reese Witherspoon, based on the true story (made into a book) by Cheryl Strayed, who hikes the Pacific Crest Trail after her life unravelled following her mom’s death and a divorce.
Two things really hit home. One is kind of soft and mushy, romantic and drippy even. It’s what Cheryl’s mom used to say, possibly her life motto even:
I especially like that last line: You can put yourself in the way of beauty. And it’s simple, because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. So it is possible for me to see beauty everywhere. I can put myself in the way of beauty wherever I am.
The other thing from Wild that I take with me after watching it is something that I’ve reflected a lot upon these past months of the #cleanse4expansion-project: forgiveness.
What if I forgave myself?, I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I’d done something I shouldn’t have? […] What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn’t have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?
For me, the process of looking at forgiveness generates the feeling of expanding, it’s transformative. And I know, there are more areas where the question lies dormant, waiting to be asked:
What if I forgave myself?
Audio production: Caspian Almerud
Photography: Anders Roos http://www.andersroos.nu/
Soundtrack: Olof Jennfors Ljudtjänst http://jennforsljud.se/